Anyone who knows me in real life has herd me say, “Respect the no.” to all my kids in all manner of situations. I’m really big on respecting autonomy and teaching my kids to do the same. We’ve always chatted about all the different verbal and non verbal forms of no. And that saying no about playing or your body is always acceptable. When I catch a nonverbal no via body language I point it out and then we respect the no. Because we want others to respect our no. It’s okay not to like or understand the no, but we respect the no.
Recently Ronon has been making request regarding his body and hugs and kisses. And we are trying real hard to respect his desired limitations on our physical expression. When we slip out of habit we apologize immediately. He knows we are trying and is gracious with us about it. It’s been a few weeks of no hugs or kisses for three days. Or, no kisses today only hugs. And, you can hug and kiss me as much as you want only on Friday after lunch and all day Saturday.
The other day Ronon knocked that back of his head. On a Tuesday. Not a kisses day.
Mom: Aww buddy, sorry I can’t kiss it better for you. Sorry you got hurt.
Ronon: (Real solemn while rubbing his head) Ya. That’s on me.
And then we laughed. And he was okay but amended that hurts CAN be kissed better even though kisses don’t fix hurts.
I’m loving that he is exploring his autonomy and gaining confidence to voice his comfort levels when it comes to his own body/emotions/space. I love that he is gaining a better grasp on what that means for others autonomy and respecting their no. Is it hard for this Mama not to give him random kisses and hugs? Yes. BUT the lessons he is learning for HIS autonomy and others is worth it. RESPECT the NO.
